[Hena Kitty ]

dont allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not

Dec 30
#advice
After that incident in my life when that person kicked me out out of nowhere from their life, I literally felt that nail digging through my heart. That pain of ignoring me. That feeling was too much to take in. So their was a point in my life I had to ” pretend not to love you”, and yes it was a very difficult thing to do. It made me hate myself . I was this clingy girl that thought who needed his love. And every time i thought he doesn’t love you, never really did, or got over you, got bored of you, was never really interested and pretended to be, all these thoughts i thought of over and over for a long time. But in time, it was no longer pretending not to love you. Because alhumdulilah, i stopped. I stopped loving him. Because I realized all those memories i stopped putting them back in my mind over and over again. Because I would play memories and be like you tricked me, you made me think you cared for me. But it was just in the moment caring or probably forcing yourself to care, or the main reason pretending to care as what players do to make me care. Basically, what got me over loving that person? I guess realizing those feelings he had were not real, so why should I still have them. And ignoring me over and over again.disrespect. that disrespect diminished my feelings.lying to my face over and over again is what made me not love that person anymore.And all of this was when I was not religious. So as religion came into my heart and mind, I realized he was not the best suitable husband for me, islamically,emotionally,etc. So yes I pretended for awhile, but happily, I am no longer pretending infront of you to help your ego or mine.but that chapter in my life is done with. I am no longer waiting for an apology, waiting for you to come back because i dont want you too. I like it better like this.alhumdulilah. And will wait patiently to get my real love that I always deserved. And may you find your love to. No more waiting for karma to come and be happy your in pain. But it will happen i am sorry because of what you have done, but its okay everyone needs lessons. That is life. and alhumdulilah I got my lesson![=
Mar 22

After that incident in my life when that person kicked me out out of nowhere from their life, I literally felt that nail digging through my heart. That pain of ignoring me. That feeling was too much to take in. So their was a point in my life I had to ” pretend not to love you”, and yes it was a very difficult thing to do. It made me hate myself . I was this clingy girl that thought who needed his love. And every time i thought he doesn’t love you, never really did, or got over you, got bored of you, was never really interested and pretended to be, all these thoughts i thought of over and over for a long time. But in time, it was no longer pretending not to love you. Because alhumdulilah, i stopped. I stopped loving him. Because I realized all those memories i stopped putting them back in my mind over and over again. Because I would play memories and be like you tricked me, you made me think you cared for me. But it was just in the moment caring or probably forcing yourself to care, or the main reason pretending to care as what players do to make me care. Basically, what got me over loving that person? I guess realizing those feelings he had were not real, so why should I still have them. And ignoring me over and over again.disrespect. that disrespect diminished my feelings.lying to my face over and over again is what made me not love that person anymore.And all of this was when I was not religious. So as religion came into my heart and mind, I realized he was not the best suitable husband for me, islamically,emotionally,etc. So yes I pretended for awhile, but happily, I am no longer pretending infront of you to help your ego or mine.but that chapter in my life is done with. I am no longer waiting for an apology, waiting for you to come back because i dont want you too. I like it better like this.alhumdulilah. And will wait patiently to get my real love that I always deserved. And may you find your love to. No more waiting for karma to come and be happy your in pain. But it will happen i am sorry because of what you have done, but its okay everyone needs lessons. That is life. and alhumdulilah I got my lesson![=

(via dreamerscantbecaged)

I dreamt of him yesterday. LOL. no, not as him being a vampire in that show. but as him as a person. i dont even watch that show much or adore him like I use to because I know its kind of superficial too, but..mashallah ..just look at him..idkk.is it wrong for me to say that.sighs. hes prob the handomest non-muslim guy I know and it’s good hes an actor, and I have no way of meeting him.lol
Feb 22

I dreamt of him yesterday. LOL. no, not as him being a vampire in that show. but as him as a person. i dont even watch that show much or adore him like I use to because I know its kind of superficial too, but..mashallah ..just look at him..idkk.is it wrong for me to say that.sighs. hes prob the handomest non-muslim guy I know and it’s good hes an actor, and I have no way of meeting him.lol

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